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Come Join Us!!!

My fife and drum corps needs more members...

Even if you have no appreciation for American history! Even if you have never played anything before in your life! Come to practice on a Tuesday at the Fowler Memorial Building in Milford and see what we're all about. We're looking for potential fifers, drummers and color
guard. If you have been considering getting out of the house and DOING something other than school/work/your boyfriend this is a really great thing to get into.

I have great memories from years of being in the corps. You will have a lot of fun, and the friends you will make are some of the best you'll ever have.

If you live in Milford or close to Milford PLEASE CONSIDER!

Contact me for more info on AIM screen name: Katshme

  Grandma's house. I am far too italian for my costume.

My mom's only good picture of me.

Enjoying the (artifically flavored) fruits of our labor.

Jun. 15th, 2008

I am feeling....

I don't know a word for it. It's like being outside of myself looking in. Like, sometimes (I don't know if this happens to anyone else) I will have memories and I will be in the third person perspective, looking in on me from near me or above me.

That is how I feel.

Other than that, I am feeling hurt and empty. I can't say this is new. I was able to be happy this morning. I'm not sure if it is the Prozac or not, but I felt happiness and love for my daughter. I don't want to say that I don't love her always, but I don't always feel. It's like my feelings are a music I cannot hear over the white noise of my depression. 

What's worse than not feeling is that I'm realizing that I"m not important. I am not a main character. I am not amounting to much, as of yet. 

Apparently, I am not funny either. I always thought I was.

I keep feeling pangs of regret for not having taken other paths in life than the one I am on. I don't regret Evelyn or art school, but I'm now feeling as though I should have been a doctor or a police officer. I am smart enough, I'm just not motivated I guess. Still, I was too busy seeming important to myself to worry about what life could have offered me. As for art? I am not inspired. That's the same as a musician without inspiration. It's useless. I am useless. 
Does anyone want a rabbit or know someone who might want a rabbit?

She's really sweet and a good house rabbit. She's got brown fur and short little ears and is really fun and adventurous. I just can't care for her well anymore because I have the baby. Please ask around?

To answer questions:

Evelyn Lee Santoro was born on Tuesday, November 13th at 6:40am in Milford Hospital. 

She weighed 6 pounds and 1.7 ounces and was 19 inches long at birth. 

My water broke at around 4:30, I don't know how long I was in labor for. I had an epidural. Labor was not that bad. I was fully dialated by about 5:30. I had to have an episiotomy (if you don't know what that is, don't ask!). Dane watched the entire delivery without passing out and was the first one to hold the baby.

I'm feeling fine, just tired and pretty sore. 

I'm breastfeeding; we figured it out pretty quickly. 

Evelyn and I are living at my house, Dane is at his but will be over mine a lot to help.  As far as we can tell, she has mommy's lips and eyes, daddy's eyebrows, hands and feet; and her great-grandpa D'Amico's nose.

My Baby.

Right now Evelyn is sleeping and I will be asleep soon too. It's really crazy how much I love her. I knew I would love her and that I'd love her more than anything, but it's so much stronger than can be imagined without knowing firsthand. She's absolutely everything to me, and when I first held her I felt like I had known her forever and had just been waiting to see her again. She knows who I am, too. She smiles, which babies her age aren't supposed to know how to do yet. She looks around and she looks up at me with those big eyes and I just melt.   Now that she's here I have no regrets at all about getting pregnant so young. I've only been a mother for two days, but I can't really imagine being anything else at this point. <3

Oct. 22nd, 2007


it only took three tries :-P
There is no logical explanation for love and the blows it deals us.
yay a whole day of seeing Heather.

kill me.
I just wanted to say that I HATE GOLDEN SUN.

thank you.

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December 2008